Before reading this blog, please take the one-minute required to enjoy my opening fanfare.
Now visualize me walking down the extended aisle between two columns of thousands and thousands of prominent personages (all of which are appropriately socially distanced, of course) to a standing ovation as I lovingly clutch the First Edition of Roger’s Kitchen: My Personal Favorites.
On stage, directly to the left, are the carefully stacked First Edition Roger’s Kitchen: My Personal Favorites cooking books awaiting my own unique signature.
After the brief awards ceremony (being knighted by Queen Elizabeth, receiving the Nobel Prize for Culinary Acuity, and the Pulitzer Prize for World Hunger Improvement) I politely sit to await the onslaught of fans for the small autograph session that is scheduled for this intimate event.
My security attendants readjust the golden ropes that had be aligned from the stage to the overflow areas and I compose myself by plucking up into my delicate fingers the Presidential Pens awarded to me from each of the last five living Presidents, each having being personally engraved, and await the deluge of by fawning admirers. (I had been previously honored with the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I humbly wear it gently draped around my neck – no matter where I go- because people are always wanting to see it.)
I am suddenly stunned and embarrassed when the first culinary paramour jumps across the security ropes, evades all five of my clandestinely armed body guards, and clutches me in her arms and enthusiastically licks my left cheek.
Awakening, I find my 15-year-old, coal-black Shih Tzu (Maximillian) trying to get my attention to take him for his early morning necessaries.
Sitting up and putting on my slippers for our outing, I reach for my keyring and smile. Attached to the keyring is a much smaller version of the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Nonfiction. My editor had it made so that I would not appear too egotistical (as some had hinted) when I wore both the Freedom Award and the Carnegie. After all, I am a very modest person and I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
FYI: I am thankful NANO Write Month Is over. I think I might have become too passionate about my endeavors?
Written for Celebrations.