It’s just me and Meatloaf. He goes with me wherever I go. We’ve been roommates for the last three years. Meatloaf was a rescue cat. And ‘Yes’… I did crochet both of our scarves.
My mother’s go-to relaxation skill was crocheting. She and I would work on projects together while waiting for my father to get off stage. He was a stuntman for Universal Studios.
I am still very ‘crafty’ because of my mother’s influences. I suspect that I got into body -sculpting building because of my dad.
I have been to all fifty states in the United States and every U.S. territory. I have also traveled to 112 different countries.
I am employed by the U.S. Marines as a consultant. Much of my work is classified, so I will not be a huge fan of “Honey, how was your day?”
My job has many perks; one of them is the ability to travel- a lot! As a military consultant, my flights are hassle-free and Meatloaf and accompany me… no questions asked. (In case you were wondering.)
Five things I enjoy:
Classical Music (especially Mozart, Vivaldi, and Tchaikovsky)
Movies: Gladiator, The Patriot, Top Gun, National Treasure, Raiders of the Lost Ark (series), Shrek (series), Braveheart, and The Batman (series). My tastes depend on my mood and the company. Meatloaf enjoyed the gamut- as long as there are treats.
Sunrises on the beach
Daily taekwondo training and surfing or swimming
Trying the fine cuisine from the places that I visit (especially pancakes!)
Fast cars (my Achilles heel)
Yes, I know that is SIX. I am also a (modest) overachiever.
If I sound interesting, swipe me.
Written for Writer’s Digest Flash Fiction February Challenges: Challenge #18 Today’s prompt is to write someone’s online dating profile.
Have you ever made a mess all over the front of your shirt while eating your delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Has the bread from your beloved sandwich ever been so soggy that the jelly gooed-out, getting all over your fingers and then you wiped them on your pants without a thought?
Let me explain to you how to fix these calamitous situations.
Collect your ingredients and place them on the counter.
Peanut butter (Crunchy or Smooth.)
A jar of jelly (Go wild, there’s so many to choose from.)
2 slices of bread (Be as healthy as you desire.)
1 plate (Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Plus, I usually do not always have the cleanest of countertops?)
1 knife (No, it doesn’t have to be sharp.)
1 baggy (I prefer the Zip-Locked ones.) to slide your sandwich in once you have completed this task.
Spread peanut butter on one side of the bread. DO THIS TO BOTH SLICES!
As you compete the spreading of the peanut butter, place each slice, DRY SIDE DOWN, on the plate.
Be as generous as you desire with the peanut butter. It’s your sandwich.
FYI: With peanut butter on both slices, the jelly cannot seep through and soggy-up your bread!
Select the slice of bread which you would like to bless with your jelly. Just do it. As you have competed the task of spreading your jelly, gently invert the slice and place it upon the twin brother (or sister) awaiting to complete your sandwich.
Firmly grasping your knife (by the handle, please!) cut your sandwich into its desires shapes.
FYI: I prefer the crisscross method. (This gives me FOUR small sandwiches to eat.)
If you have crisscross-cut your sandwich, like me, place the bottom triangle in first. Then its sides. Then the top.
Once you have completed the skill work necessary for this new-and-improved, never-soggy, never messy peanut butter and jelly class, send me an signed affidavit stating your success, I will gladly send you a graduation certificate.
FYI: Don’t do Step Seven. There will not be a certificate awaiting you in the mail. Get real!
Written for Writer’s Digest Flash Fiction February Challenges: Challenge #17 Today’s prompt is to write a second-person how-to.
“Well, sunset is a great time for the fish to change their minds and come up to grab a tasty worm.”
He was trying so hard. My mom was so happy with him.
I was too, mostly. Except for days like this.
I wanted to tell him I had plenty of bits. The mosquitos were feasting on my legs.
I wanted to ask ‘If the fish are nibbling so great at sunset, why have we already been here five hours!’ But I wasn’t going to say a word.
Mom was happy. Happier than she had been for a long time.
I was happy… mostly… just not today.
So I kept my mouth shut.
Dragging his three-legged chair over, Jeff sat down. “Bring your line in. Let’s check the bait.”
Reluctantly, I did.
“Wow!” he exclaimed, “they’ve munched that old worm to bits. Let’s put on another.”
I reached in to lift out another night crawler. These things are so disgusting. I hope my squeamishness doesn’t show on my face. Bravely, I threaded its head- I guess that’s its head- and wrapped its body around my hook twice. Just like Jeff had shown me. Then I hooked its other end firmly in place.
Pleased my bobber landed midway in the lake, I relaxed.
Jeff had done likewise as he was watching me… casting downwind so that our lines wouldn’t cross.
“You gotta dance your line a little. Make’em think that old bugger is alive.” As he showed me how to dance better I watched his bobber jump slightly out of the water and land. He did that several times. “Now, you give it a try.”
“Almost,” he said. “Use more wrist action. Pretend you are a gunfighter in one of your X-box games and just give your rod a swift draw.”
“Great. Now a little slower, but be jerky with it,” he continued. “Prefec…..”
I screamed. “My bobber…. My bobber… It’s gone. Something’s got it!”
“Easy. … Easy.” Jeff had laid down his rod and was right by side. “Reel him in slowly. Keep the line tight.”
I tried. The bobber was busy going downstream.
“You’ve got a bigg’n.” he said. He sounded as excited as I felt. “Just keep the line tight and slowly wind him in.”
I was shaking all over.
Maybe the day wasn’t going to turn out so bad after all.
Written for Writer’s Digest Flash Fiction February Challenges: Challenge #16 Today’s prompt is to write about boring becoming something exciting.
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (My Two Favorite Characters)
What better way to end and begin a New Year than relaxing and enjoying a StarWars marathon.
This time, as I watched these classics, I began noticing the wide array of character personalities that George Lucas created for his acclaimed series.
I thought you might enjoy a few of my StarWar-deian academic endeavors…
My two favorite characters from Solo: A Star Wars Story are the Ewoks and the Jabba the Hutt.
Facts about the Ewoks You My (or May Not) Know
You have to love these fierce teddy bears!
Ewaoks were a one-meter in height ‘human’ species.
They were omnivorous creatures who had no misgivings about eating Chewbacca, as well as Luke Skywalker and Han Solo in a celebratory feast.
Ewoks were covered, head to toe, by mostly solid colored fur. A few had a stripe or two.
An Ewok had two fingers and a thumb on each hand.
They were very strong creatures.
Ewoks enjoyed living in ‘huts’ in the trees, but they did scavenger the grounds for berries, herbs, and hunting.
Ewoks, though primitive, had mastered fire and were skilled at pottery and creating wooden structures.
Their society centered in small villages built in the giant trees. The trees were sacred. Between the trees and huts, the Ewoks built suspension bridges for easy access to different parts of their village and to allow them to stay clear of the forest floor. Knotted rope ladders were constructed to allow the needed access from the huts to the forest’s ground.
The Ewoks spiritual leader was seen as a ‘medicine man’.
Ewoks enjoyed playing music and singing in their celebrations and spiritual rituals.
FYI: Thanks you Wookieepedia for your assistance in honing my knowledge of the many beings from Star Wars.
Facts about Jabba the Hutt You My (or May Not) Know
Jabba, the Hutt, was the primary crime lord of the Outer Rim.
He controlled much of the Galactic underworld for centuries.
Jabba was an ancient being, even compared to the Wookies. Jabba was well over 600 year old.
The home planet for the Hutts was Nal Hutta- a marshy, desolate world with oily rains.
Jabba’s criminal enterprises included gambling syndicates (Jabba’s favorite pastime), slave trading, trafficking in arms, drug smuggling (glitterstim from the spice spiders), and assassinations.
Jabba was known for his gruesome cruelty and never-ending greed.
FYI: Thanks you Wookieepedia for your assistance in honing my knowledge of the many beings from Star Wars.
FBI agent Ford “”Mac”” MacDouglas seeks to find out the truth about the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ surrounding the unexpected ‘attempted suidide’ of his sister, Jilly Barlett. Jilly seems to have purposefully drove her white Porsche off a cliff. MacDouglas find the possibility that his sister wanting to commit suicide impossible to believe.
He visits the small town where his sister and husband live and is suddenly caught in even stranger events. While hospitalized, immediately after awakening from a four-day coma, his sister runs away. There are hints that Jilly and her husband are drug-dealers. And then, a local town librarian is tied up knowing far too much about the mysteries.
The three of them collapsed on the grassy incline.
Jenny smiled. “I told you, girls can do anything boys can do.” Her face was aglow as she was only beginning to gloat about her second place finish.
Aaron had known Jenny was fast. She was the headstriker on the girls’ soccer squad. He had been confident he could beat her in the mile, but he had warned Jeremy that maybe he should keep the time on this trash-talking event.
Jeremy had held tight to his pride. He refused to not compete.
Aaron had thought that he was the most competitive person ever, until he had been assigned as a roommate to Jeremy last year. The two of then were a dangerous match. They competed for grades in classes. They competed in sports. They competed in food-eating competitions. They held nothing sacred.
That was how they had met Jenny… on a dare.
Aaron had accepted a dare to get Jenny’s digits. Jeremy had given him three minutes to accomplish the digit-acquisition deed. At stake had been fifteen wind-sprints after the next basketball practice. The dare had been a public dare- in front of the entire basketball team; to not accept the challenge was unthinkable.
It had turned out to have been far easier than he could have hopes. He did not think that there was any real chance at succeeding in this digit-acquisition, so instead of trying to charm his way through the task, he was completely up front. He told Jenny of the challenge. And how competitive he was. And simply begged.
She found it hilarious. Surprisingly, she had four younger brothers who were always doing stupid things like this. She traded her digits for the right to watch Jeremy run the wind sprints.
Since then, the three of them had been inseparable.
Jeremy was still panting from his third place finish. “Alright,” he said. “A double-or-nothing challenge. I accept that you beat me in the race, but I bet I can hold my breath longer than you.”
“Jeremy…” I tried to intervene.
“No!” he said firmly. “This is no big deal. We had the same contest with three of the freshman in the hall last night. We’ll just have a new one tonight.” He paused smiling. There was an evil glimmer in his eyes. “That is… If you’re up to it.”
Thank God for Jenny’s four brothers. “Before I say ‘yes’,” she said, “Tell me all the rules.”
Written for Writer’s Digest Flash Fiction February Challenges: Challenge #15 Today’s prompt is to write someone who needs to take a deep breath.