“I Wouldn’t Marry You If…”

Her World

“I Wouldn’t Marry You If…”



“We’ve been together since Kindergarten,” he said. “I know we’ve had our ups-and –downs… Every couple does. But through thick-and-thin you’ve always stood-by-your-man.”

“Clichés upon clichés. I know you’re a songwriter and that’s in your nature. But that’s all we’ve become,” I responded. “I used to believe sincerely that opposites-do-attract. We had that going for us.”

“We still do,” he pleaded.

“Well, we are opposites that don’t!. I’m a one-woman-man. I will not be disrespected by your lady-in-every-port perception of a grand-old-time. Once-a-cheater-Always a cheater.”

“”I’ll change.” He was on his knees, begging.

“Then you can go and work on changing and leave me alone. Momma always said, ‘Sweetheart-there-are-plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea. Why do you have to stick with the first one you caught?”

“But what about ‘Love-conquers-all’?”

He was persistent. I’ll give him that. I suspect that’s one of the things I’d always found so attractive about him. That, and he was a hunk!  “No.” I handed him back the ring. “I will not marry you. I want you to leave. Now.”

“But, sweetems…”

“No! They say that ‘Love is blind.’ I have been blind for far too long. Your life’s pursuit of love-the-one-you’re-with’ will not cut it.”

I tried to pull my foot from him to leave …. He was prostrate grasping it. “I love you. I always come back to you. You know I do. Those other girls… They mean nothing to me. It’s my image. My public persona. Why? Why won’t you marry me? ”

Here, I could finally end it. I thought of my final reply:

I wouldn’t marry you if ka-zillionaire and you purchased Hawaii for me as our wedding gift.

I wouldn’t marry you if built like Dwayne John, the Rock, and … That won’t work. He’s handsomer than Dwayne.

I wouldn’t marry you if I were being held hostage and our spoken vows would save the world.

Which one should I pick?



Written for Sunday Afternoon Writings: A Zoom Writing Group. Requirements: Complete this story-Starter.

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