Shape Up or Ship Out
Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.
Thanks for the great idea, I am Who I am.
Dear Chore List,
Who do you think you are trying to dictate what I do with my life?
Sure, I think that you are important enough to have photocopies of you at three different places in my house and workplace. I like the feelings of accomplishment when I check things off… But who are you to make me feel guilty on days that I just want to chill and watch Netflix.
I keep you around so that I am sure not to let any of the big tasks fall by the wayside… Not to be pestered by your overbearing attitude when I choose to check things off of today’s list by writing them on them the task list for tomorrow.
You belong to me. I am the one that pressed Print and caused you to spring into existence.
You need me… I don’t need you!
Who made you the dictator of my life.
I am a grown man.
I can do what I want… when I want.
Just remember, there is nothing you can really do to me. I am the Power Broker in this relationship!
If I wanted, I could just slide you right down this shredder and there is not a thing in the world that you can do about it.
So buck up, my little friend.
Quit giving me so much grief.
You are just a tool…
That’s right… A TOOL….. In every sense of the word!
Know your place!
Written for The Daily Post: February 21, 2016. Shape Up or Ship Out