Supreme Ruler of the Universe

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doctorwoodhead.com


Festivus for the Rest of Us


You have been named supreme ruler of the universe. Your first order of business is creating and instituting a holiday or festival in your honor. What day of the year is your holiday? What special events will take place? Describe YOU DAY in as great a detail as you can muster: the special foods we’ll consume, the decorations we’ll use…everything.



I have been named Supreme Ruler of the Universe. Of that title, I am greatly honored. Upon receiving the award, I immediately put together an individually separate committee of renowned scientists, scholars, and economic advisors to complete a new study on how each of these goals can be reached and become profitable within the next five years for the private sector (thus removing governmental entanglements):

  • National self-sufficiency for energy (including fossil fuels) to be attained within the next five years.
  • Reconfiguring, and then the construction of, new infrastructures for our national highways.
  • Procuring the contracts for a mass transit system for every city of over 150,000 citizens
  • Privatizing the educational institutions and health care systems- allowing for the free market to set up achievable goals (but with governable bylaws that require sustainable treatment for all in need of care.)
  • Job training for all citizens in marketable fields of employment (a required job-training/educational core in required service occupations for all youth (and those able-bodied on governmental assistance) not choosing to attend a trade school or university on their own.
  • Privatizing prison reform looking to allow for more house-confinements or work-incarcerations

My campaigning for the above platform was why I was named the new Supreme Ruler of the Universe.



A Now for My New Universal Holiday

Name:The Monday of Thanksgiving

When: Every third Monday of each month, from this point one, will become known as “Thank You, Monday.”  Monday has been picked because of the phenomenally bad rap given to it in our present-day society: The Monday Blues. (I am not an avid follower of nor a devoted believer in The Monday Blues.)

Guidelines for Celebration: Upon awakening and the completion of your Monday necessaries, every citizen of the universe- anyone over the age of four- must sit at their morning breakfast (a required meal of the day) and compose a list of three different people to whom they ought to give thanks. Across from each name must be written the reason for being thankful.

Sometime during that day- or at latest by the following evening- each citizen needs to do an act of kindness for the designated individual. (It could be a call, a card, meeting a particular need, a special event, etc.)

Names cannot be repeated the following week.

Those who are able to complete their Thanks You’s for acts of kindness or compassion are to record their information to be entered into a community lottery. A name is draw from every set of 10,00 local participants. An appropriate award is given. Before the award is given, a community leader must appropriately check out the names on the winning list assuring that Thank You’s were actually completed. (Even in my Brave New World, I am aware that there will be charlatans.)

Note to the Universe: You can see that even thinking about this power has gone to my head. It would possibly be in your best interest to nominate someone else for this award? (You have be forewarned!)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Festivus for the Rest of Us.”

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